Tag Archives: Adult

Childlike is not Childish…

26 Mar

What a joy it is to watch confident children under the age of 10 at playgrounds or at social events!  They make new friends quickly, are color-blind (to race and gender), approach adults with sincerity, are uninhibited, and look at the future with wonder.

When I take my 8-year-old granddaughter out to a playground or the beach, it amazes me how quickly she makes new friends with other children.  There is no judgment, no hesitation, no sizing up of the other -a simple sharing of time, energy and fun for the duration.  It is nice to see children who are color-blind (not sensitive to racial differences) and gender neutral playing together as fast friends.

Somehow, between childhood and the teen years, we lose this trait of accepting others at face value, replacing it with judgment, scorn, racism, sexism and “society” rules that keep us from easily mixing with people we don’t already know.

It also amazes me to see how freely children will dance to music – they seldom care whether anyone is watching or judging their moves.  Somehow we gain so many inhibitions when we grow into adulthood. Inhibitions stick with us for a lifetime – at least until we are so old we no longer care.

Any newspaper I pick up (globally) is filled with stories about disagreement and hate in today’s world, and I long for and wonder what happened to the children we were yesterday.  Can you remember what it was like to be uninhibited and free of judgment? Can you imagine what our world would be like if adults were more childlike and could accept each other at face value?  Racism, sexism, ageism, and other biases are learned behaviors – can you imagine how incredible life could be if we fostered acceptance instead of discrimination?

We need more childlike behaviors in our world today (not the childish ones we so often see).  What do you think?

Just food for thought on the first Monday of spring.

Have a good week,

Carol

Stop giving Outrageous Power to others – Pick yourself first!

29 Mar

A post by Seth Godin last week resonated with me: “Reject the tyranny of being picked: Pick yourself”. One of the most insightful statements he made was:

It’s a cultural instinct to wait to get picked. To seek out the permission and authority that comes from a publisher or talk show host or even a blogger saying, “I pick you.” Once you reject that impulse and realize that no one is going to select you–that Prince Charming has chosen another house–then you can actually get to work.

I completely agree!

All too often we wait for others to guide/help/choose us and we miss beneficial opportunities while we wait! In scenes reminiscent of schoolyard days long ago, we stand around in life waiting for our name to be called and we give OUTRAGEOUS power to people who often have no idea that we named them our team captain!

Even worse is when those to whom we have given our  also disparage us while we stand and wait. (Remember the person in class who was always picked last in gym class for the ball team? Maybe it was you!)  Such is the scourge of childhood – but it should not be our legacy as adults.  Being an adult means being able to choose yourself first!

Dump the baggage or pay the baggage fees…

Airlines charge for checked baggage.  I believe we should do the same with the emotional baggage we carry around.  We need to discard the unnecessary baggage – memories and past indifference that does not serve our best interests. We need to (re)claim our rightful power over our own being – the right to choose us!

There should be a Grown-up declaration day!

Many of us wake up to the realization of choice years after we become adults. How does this happen?  Typically, we’ve gone from childhood to adulthood without a major rebellion – and may have seamlessly transitioned from childhood (where others chose for us) to an adulthood where someone else stepped in to control us (with or without our permission).  For some reason, we missed the critical moment when we became an adult – and never seized the power to make our own choices.

No matter how well-meaning the loving controllers are in our life (husbands, wives, partners, bosses) – we deserve to take back our power to choose if we want to be responsible adults.  Unfortunately, sometimes we wake up to the fact that others are governing our life – even if we gave away our power – after years of unconscious ignorance.  There is good news – it is never too late to take back your power to choose!

You have the right to choose, just do it! It is time to take back the reins, make your own decisions and chart your own life from today forward.  Stop giving OUTRAGEOUS power to others – Pick yourself first!

Have a great week!

Carol


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