Is it just me or do we thrive on missed connections?

21 Aug

I’m old school and seemingly a dinosaur today…  I like intelligent one-on-one conversations, phone calls that connect, seeing people in person, in other words, connecting on a personal level.  Does anyone else still value these things?

Two-way communication used to be so much easier. I don’t know about you, but I’m wondering what’s happened to make communication as difficult and complicated as it is today.

Today’s frenzied, busy busy world of over committed parental family units, the quest for maximum productivity, and cramming more work into every day, is, in many ways disconcerting.

Certainly technology makes instant contact a possibility, but it is also more screened and more pretentious than ever before.  It is common place to send emails five or six times before you get a response. Text threads that are initiated by another abruptly stop without reason, seldom to be picked up again. Voicemails go unattended and unreturned.

Is not communicating the new societal norm?

As an extrovert who works from home without the support of an office group, and as a single female whose friends have younger children and busy lives, I find that the smarter our phones and technology become, the dumber our relationships become.

I like people and it gives me energy when the connections are genuine, but I’m finding so many misinterpretations and disconnects today. I am a happy, communicative, upbeat person who values relationships but I’m feeling a bit frustrated.

Here’s some examples of why:

– friends/family send and receive multiple texts then simply stop mid-conversation, despite further attempts to continue.  Sometimes the conversation never picks up again despite retries. Interruptions are inevitable, but sometimes contact lapses for days;
– male friends text me on a moment’s notice on a Fri or Sat to go out on a date and become offended when I say I’ve already made plans. Often they never ask again or refuse to ask me in advance and do the last minute texts again and again;
– friends won’t pick up the phone and despite voicemail, are too busy to call back, even about mutual plans;
– meeting times are fluid and people seldom call to say they’ll be late. Some arrive (if at all)  consistently 2 hours after the pre-arranged meeting time (even if they’ve set it). When they do sour up, the cir a litany of things they had to do first;
-emails to business associates go unanswered despite clear subject lines that they created.  Sometimes the urgency of the topic is critical (high) but it doesn’t change their (lack of,) response. Certainly priorities change, but there is no follow-up to let others

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– misconstrued texts that incur offense, disdain or anger based on assumed meaning (I’m as guilty as any in misinterpreting texts.) Then when time passes between texts, the emotion escalates unnecessarily. People seem reluctant to pick up the phone to clarify what they think they (mis)understand;
– plans fall flat or change without notice and the other person neglects to get in touch.  To  compensate for this, I routinely make plans to either do something I can do alone (when others cancel) or make backup plans for no shows (or they find something better to do);
– conversations end because a device dies and there’s no charger around. I’ve made plans to meet up with friends where I’m essentially stood-up because the other’s phone died and they didn’t attempt to find me;
– people bring tablets or smart phones and then do emails or Facebook when we’re out in groups (not posting pictures or checking in.) One friend ignored me entirely one night (on his day off) because he said his work was “blowing up” and he was buried in his smart phone doing emails;
– many more examples of non-connection…

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Is the world changing, am I too tolerant (or sensitive) of others, or is it something else? What is your experience communicating today?

For me, I’m happier than I’ve ever been before, but (mis) communication seems to translate into others not caring (at least that’s what I was taught.)

Comments…recommendations…observations?

Hope you have an uplifting week of great connections and wondrous experiences.

Carol

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2 Responses to “Is it just me or do we thrive on missed connections?”

  1. Ron Friday, September 5, 2014 at 9:56 am #

    From one dinosaur to another … thinking of you today. How are you really?

    • Carol Dekkers Friday, September 5, 2014 at 10:55 am #

      I am doing awesome! Thanks for asking.

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