Just for today, show kindness…

3 Oct

Where have all the kind people gone?  I don’t know about you, but I’m frustrated (as are many Americans, Canadians, Europeans, Asians, and others)!  The economy is horrible and getting worse (I live in Florida, USA) and there is an increasing mentality of disrespect and walking on others.  This isn’t the America I’ve come to expect!

When you stop to consider how many people are losing their homes (after investing for years!), losing their jobs, and foraging for the bare necessities in life (at mid-life!), you’d think that the “haves” (those with steady and good incomes) would show empathy to the “have nots”.  I’m not sure why, but it seems like those who walk on others (“I’m so smart I have a steady income, and look how I can buy a foreclosed property for a song!”) also have an entitlement attitude today (“People should bow down at my feet as I walk by…”) which they figure warrants them special status!

As I go through the short sale of my home (long story, but no, I did not overextend or think I could sell in a few years and get rich quick!), I’ve found that my realtor, along with my lawyers (I hired), the buyers, the buyers’ realtor, the banks (and their expert representatives), appraisers, and the building inspectors all have their own best interests (and greed) in mind first – and each in turn has been utterly disrespectful.  In fact, the ultimate experience in disrespect happened last week when my home was again inspected (this time by a boar who runs Suncoast Certified Home Inspections here in Pinellas County who took a full five hours rambling about my house before he was done!)

When I got home to an air conditioner running full blast in 95F heat outside with the windows fully open (as if it would cool inside with windows open!), I inquired of the group (who deferred their response to the inspector)  just  how long they were going to run the a/c with windows and doors open (wasting electrical power on my dime).  The inspector was so disrespectful with his answers and intimidating manner that my daughter (27) told him several times to stop being so unnecessarily rude!

He (and the others) responded with disrespectful actions by leaving my house unlocked (kitchen windows open and unlatched, and my sliding glass doors unlocked) – together with toilet seats in my bathrooms left up (as a single female I certainly did not leave them that way when I left!) when they vacated the premises.

I am a capable, confident, single adult, who does not worry about small children or job loss or an ailing partner to complicate the stressful process of the short sale (it is bad enough with the level of disrespect I’ve witnessed!!!) – but I can only imagine how stressful the process must be to those who are not so fortunate! Imagine having the parties in the process as disrespectful when children are underfoot!  Stress levels and the lack of kindness and empathy must push some to drink (or worse!)

Can I ask you –  if you are in a more fortuitous position with a steady income, home ownership, and happy days,- to please consider showing strangers and others your kindness and respect – even if it is just for today.  There are millions of people like me who are witnessing the worst in the real estate and banking industries – and a bit of kindness during the day from anyone (like you!) would be appreciated.  For my part, I’m continuing to be kind to others (aside from those mentioned above), and trying to stay giving and optimistic (some days it would be easier not to!)

Would you be willing to be kind to perfect strangers (and those people you know) – even just for today?  Millions of Americans will happily thank you — especially if you do it without expectations of immediate reciprocity! As for me, I thank you too!

Have a great week!


4 Responses to “Just for today, show kindness…”

  1. Steve Chizar Monday, October 3, 2011 at 10:51 am #

    You need to send this to the local paper to be put on the editorial page…..


    • Carol Dekkers Monday, October 3, 2011 at 11:51 pm #


      Good idea – but I doubt that with the myriad of failures daily in FL this would be even considered readable. The inspector was absolutely atrocious and I am truly amazed that he has any work at all. I am beginning to think that the meanies of the world (at least in FL) win in this decade… 😦

      Thank you for reading!


  2. Bill Ravensberg Monday, October 3, 2011 at 9:10 am #

    Wow! That’s quite an unfortunate experience Carol.

    My observation the last few years has been that all (well, all might be too much … so, most anyway) the financial woes in the world have been due to greed. The greed to make that extra buck has usually come at someone else’s expense.

    It really started to show when it wasn’t about the service anymore and it was all about the profit and the shareholders. Forget the employee’s and the customers. They need me was and still seems to be the thinking.

    Anyway Carol, I can’t ever imagine you not being kind and considerate. Maybe it has something to do with your Canadian heritage, eh!

    It’s a sad statement when I go out each day and don’t expect to see any kindness and consideration shown. It’s always a pleasant surprise to see and experience any. That’s really sad when it used to be the norm years ago.

    So, yes, my wife and I are trying to make sure we are showing kindness and consideration when we can.

    We need to get back to that way of life and create a cooperative spirit again!


    • Carol Dekkers Monday, October 3, 2011 at 11:55 pm #


      I agree with your sentiments! Today I got yet another email from my realtor asking for access to my house yet again so that the over-eager buyers can have an air conditioning company come in and service the unit – it never ends. Not only do I have less than two weeks to vacate and close (“or else the whole deal falls through” is the threat from the lawyer and MY realtor!!!) – now they want to disrupt my remaining time here (using my power to fuel the a/c rather than waiting until the buyers take occupancy). Utterly amazing!!!!

      I hope that things are better in Ontario because here in FL – you better have a thick skin to survive the swamp of greed and dog-eat-dog today!

      Thanks for reading!


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