Has your life gone exactly as you would have predicted when you were younger? I don’t know anyone who is in the exact place they had envisioned years ago.
I know that when my children were young, I used to think that Chaos was the natural state… there was always frenetic activity at our house between homework, activities, pets, friends, field trips, etc. (Sometimes I miss those days!)
These days my house is much less active – I live in the same home that used to house 4 people, 2 dogs, 2 cats and always friends of my kids sleeping over, and now there are rooms in my house that are no longer used. Since the real estate market is so depressed in Florida and I have no equity since having to refinance (due to the divorce), it doesn’t make sense to try to sell and move. Now, before you think that I’m not happy – I have to tell you that my life today is one that I only dreamed of a mere five years ago when I was in the midst of household disharmony and threats of violence. I now know that Change – not Chaos – is the natural state! And Change is a good thing.
Back then (5 years ago), I dreaded returning home from a trip because I knew that the household would erupt and fighting would greet me. I longed for a life filled with peace and happy, healthy grown children. While change happens slowly, my vision of a peaceful, harmonious state did come into being. Today my children are grown and healthy and finding sustainable work in an uncertain economic environment. The main parts of my vision came into reality and today I cherish watching peaceful sunsets with my cat on my west-facing deck. I am grateful for peace and harmony in my life!
So, today I envision a future that involves more about me and for me. I neglected myself in my quest when I envisioned peace and happiness for my children. (Not that the last 5 years has been bad… I’ve co-authored two industry hardcover books, nurtured new, individual friendships, joined networks, traveled and spoken in new countries, and worked to reinvent my career – and yet my life is not how I’d like it to be.)
I envision continued good health (a priority), plus a training and speaking calendar filled with prosperous career bookings at rates that show respect for my knowledge and expertise, more international (paid) engagements, a social calendar filled with fun events and outings with friends, and a financial standing that puts me back in line with where I was headed before my divorce. I can envision it, feel it, almost taste it – yet the universe (along the lines of the Secret) has not yet delivered on it.
Now that I have the confidence that Change is the natural state – I can be more patient than I might have been in the past. I long for a more robust cadre of engaged and sincere friendships, more well-paid contracts, more travel adventures, and more social events where my presence makes a difference. And for the first time, I can also envision that there could be room for someone in my future as a dear friend or partner – something that I never could even consider in the past. As change evolves, revolves and intertwines its way into our lives, I envision once again becoming involved in a positive connectivity of a community again soon.
As the change in life over the past 5 years has shaped into my present, I find myself living in more isolation than ever before. While this has been good for self-discovery and growth, it’s no longer productive for an extroverted person like me. So, what can I do but envision a future with changed results.
I welcome Change as the natural state in my life. How about you?
Have a productive optimistic week!