The Law of Attraction…
You might have heard of the Law of Attraction (as published in works such as “The Secret” and “Think and Grow Rich”). The basic principle is: what you think and truly desire will come about if you wish for it earnestly and steadfastly.
Personally, I’ve experienced the power that envisioning your future can have on your present. As a child I yearned for a life of travel to distant lands — today my work provides me with speaking opportunities to travel worldwide. Visioning is powerful stuff!
and I’m finding that the people I used to attract into my life were by and large those who treated me as I believed I deserved to be treated. My relationships often left me feeling sad and I’d wonder why people treated me like a doormat. I now realize that these people didn’t just treat me like a doormat – it is their modus operandi – they treat everyone in their life the same way, especially those who tolerate such behavior.
In the last 5 years, I’ve experienced major life changes and learned a lot about myself and self-care. I’ve learned to set up healthy boundaries to prevent the doormat syndrome from happening again. In addition, in the process, I realize that the people who made me feel inferior only did so with my permission. I can see that the people who I once considered to be friends – were attracted into my life (and stayed) because I didn’t realize that I deserved better.
Here are a couple of examples of how these “friends” behaved:
- One person asked me to speak at conferences she was involved in planning, and invited me to stay at her home during the week. When I accepted her invitation, she took great pride in talking about me (and another person she invited) at the conference by saying, “You should see how Carol and xxx think that I run a hotel… “In addition, she would trash talk about my choice of shoes by saying “Ooooh, look at Carol’s hooker heels” when I wore shoes with heels. I admit that I often felt powerless that someone I considered a friend would talk about me like this.
- Another person routinely would tell me when I was in the midst of an abusive situation that I deserved the treatment because I didn’t directly confront the offender. She had never been in my situation but was quick to dish out advice and chide me that my decisions were flawed. I often felt sad during her monologues, yet she was careful to sprinkle in complimentary nuggets so I wouldn’t ditch the friendship.
- A third person would summarily disregard my opinions by telling me that my perceptions and recollections of events were consistently wrong. Any protestation was returned with the silent treatment or disdain. I felt invalidated and learned to question my intuition in this relationship.
I realize that these people treated me (and others in their lives) poorly, but I attracted them into my life because it matched the treatment that I thought I deserved. I’m proud to say that I’m now equipped with the knowledge that I deserve so much better. In so thinking, I can see that I am attracting higher quality people in my life. Today, I am proud to say that my friends are kind, respectful, and high quality, emotionally healthy human beings.
About the three people (and others like them) from my past – I now stand up to them. They don’t like the new boundaries or that I restrict my time with them, but they have no choice.
The Law of Attraction works and always did. In hindsight, I can see that those whom I attracted (and who were attracted to me) did not treat me any differently than I believed I deserved to be treated. Today, I know better and no longer tolerate abusive behavior.
Does this resonate with you and your experiences at all? Do you agree or disagree with these observations?
p.s., today I can say “Life is good!” and getting better all the time.