Archive | April, 2009

Resiliency 99.9% of the time…

14 Apr

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately on the “Law of Attraction” which is the basis of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, and Excuse me, Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn, among others.  All of these works expound on the power of positive thinking and attracting good things into our lives by expressing clearly our wants to the universe, and then living our life as they come true.  Conversely, all also talk about the equal and opposite power of negative thinking and how the energy thus generated can lead to illness, hazards, and ongoing angst.

For the past few months, I’ve been on a path of optimism, resilient thinking, and positivism and the results have been outstanding.  I’ve initiated several new friendships with positive and upbeat people, done more socializing with optimistic people, and formulated even more positive visions of what I want to achieve.  These results include a peace and a happiness that exceeds anything I’ve experienced in recent years.  While divorce is not an easy experience (especially after more than 20 years), I am so grateful to have gone through it and having gained renewed optimistism about life.  I’ve discovered that (despite what I had been told by people in my past who professed good intentions), I am a great person with much to offer this world.

Being positive, living in the now, and staying resilient 99.9% of the time is my goal, and its not yet an achievement.  I’ve managed to eliminate and cut away a lot of the negative influences that were normal in my past life, and replaced them with positive ones. I’ve changed my attitude towards those who present challenges. I’ve developed a resilience to be able to bounce back from adversity and am on the road to finally love myself for who I am rather than striving to be someone else for someone else. The journey is not without distractions – and I find that the biggest are those caused by an event that flashes back to past habitual behaviors.  That’s where my challenge lies – staying upbeat and positive, and bouncing back quickly when something hits me like a brick out of left field. For example, when someone of past importance crosses a boundary to which they no longer have rights.  When this happens, the other person acts incredulous that I would block their entrance into my private world, with the expectation that the breach is their right and their privilege.  It is getting easier to bounce back from the pains of the past superimposed on the present, seemingly slowly and one day at a time. 

And — fortunately every morning dawns a new day and a new opportunity to practice new behaviors and attitudes anew.  Today I let my encounter with the boundary breacher steal away some of my optimism, and the new today that dawns in several hours gives me a chance to begina again with a full positive outlook.  No longer will I give away my power or my heartbeats to one who does not deserve.  And eventually they who breach will give up trying.  A sage niece of mine quoted:  I am learning not to cry over anyone who will not cry over me.

I’m on a path to attract great things into my life, and I hope that you are too. I know how incredible a renewed positive life can be, and nothing and no one can take away the powerful results of my newfound positive feelings!

Have a good week!


Carol Dekkers, Software Measurement and Global Software Development expert, author, speaker. Want to engage Carol to be a speaker at your next event? Email Ms. Dekkers at or or visit for details.

Read Carol Dekkers’ other blog (Musings about Software Development) at

——Copyright 2009 Carol Dekkers – All Rights Reserved ———————

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